5 steps to trying meditation for the first time

If you ask someone who has never meditated what they think about meditation they'll picture incense sticks, prayer flags, chanting vegans and free dancing. While these examples might be a little extreme, and have almost nothing to do with meditation, they are associated by being pigeonholed as alternative or spiritual.  For a lot of people the S word is a big barrier, it initiates an involuntary cringe and immediate inability to take anything said afterwards seriously. I know all this as for 31 years I was a cringer. I gave mediation very little thought other than thinking it wasn't for me. This has all changed.

Nowadays, I rarely go more than a few days without some form of meditation. I've been doing this for almost 2 years. It has been an immensely positive thing for me to discover. While I am no expert, I wanted to explain a few things I've learnt along the way that, had I known, would have helped me get over the mental barrier and allowed me to try meditation sooner.

1. Don't call it mediation. Call it mindfulness. While some will argue that the two are different, ignore them for now. I think so many people are hung up on the word meditation that it makes them uncomfortable to think about trying it. Think of it as simply being mindful and that can help approach it in a different way.

2. Do nothing. That's it. That is the aim. It is harder than it sounds. In our hectic lives it is very difficult to truly do nothing. No listening to music, no reading, no daydreaming. Just being in the moment. The aim of being mindful is to be aware of what is happening right now. When you start to do this you realise it is actually quite a rare and special experience.

3. You don't need to close your eyes and sit cross legged.  While I'd recommend starting with your eyes closed and seated, it isn't essential. You can be mindful running, walking, even cycling once you learn the technique. It is a strange experience to try walking or running mindfully for the first time. This has helped me a lot with trail running.

4. It isn't about stopping all of your thoughts. I originally thought meditation was about switching off all my thoughts, having a completely blank mind and finding Zen, despite not knowing what it meant. None of these things have really happened. What has happened is I've learnt to understand my thoughts and emotions more and am able to have much better control of them. This has been an incredibly useful skill to learn.

5. It doesn't take long. You don't need to sit for hours on end. You can see a huge benefit from taking as little as 10 minutes a day to be mindful. I started at 10 minutes and now choose to sit for 15 minutes every day. It can easily be built into our busy schedules.

Why do it?

If you observe the natural world, animals spend a lot of time doing nothing. They have very few distractions. Years ago we wouldn't have been too different from this. Whenever we take time away from our busy lives we often seek ways to replicate this. Some of us sit on beaches, some go on retreats, some go camping and spend time in nature. While we are all different we all see the value in switching off and doing nothing. We have created a lot of distractions for ourselves in our modern world and while a regular mediation might not initially sound as tempting as sitting in the sun on the beach, it can help us to train our minds and disconnect on a daily basis which is so very important.

---

If you haven't ever given Meditation or Mindfulness a go I challenge you to try it for a few days. There are lots of ways you can get into it but if you're like me and want the simplest, quickest, no nonsense approach I recommend using the Headspace app. You can download the app on your phone and try it free for 10 days. (I am in no way affiliated to Headspace other than using it myself.)

 

If your still sceptical, watch this great animation about why you should meditate:

[su_vimeo url="https://vimeo.com/131682712"]

and if you want a slightly longer explanation try this Ted Talk from Andy Puddicombe who explains it much clearer than I do.

[su_youtube url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzR62JJCMBQ"]

Josh

Why we must all learn from nature

Why we must all learn from nature

If we take the time to look, we can see time and time again that the natural world has a pretty good record for doing things in an efficient way. Take an old growth forest for example, it is a closed loop system where nothing is wasted, everything has a purpose and every single organism works towards the overall health of the forest. When everything serves the bigger picture like this we can see that both the individual species and the larger ecosystem thrive. It's not just the forests either, the oceans are the same, truth is, the whole planet's doing it. The whole planet, that is, except for one lonely species....humans.

The permanent, closed loop ecosystem of a healthy forest.

On the surface it doesn't seem like we've done too bad from this tactic, the human population has, after all, surged to over seven billion people. The problem is, the more we have grown the more our ecosystem has suffered. As much as we try to pretend we aren't, we are rather reliant on that ecosystem to survive.

I believe that most people, if they are truly honest with themselves, will admit that the state of the world isn't great, that there is room for improvement. We don't need to go into all the details of what's wrong, we're all aware. We're all posing in a giant, worldwide, selfie, pretending life's #amazing, when away from the camera we all know something's not quite right. Our absence of action comes not from a lack of education about the problems, but from the fear of being the only one willing do anything about it. It's like we've all come to the end of a great party but no-one wants to start cleaning up until they see someone else do their share first. And that's just the problem, for some reason, living a greener, ethical, low impact, or whatever you want to call it, lifestyle is associated with making a big sacrifice. But is that really the case? Sure, it's hard to live a low impact lifestyle and have millions in the bank, but then, the happiest people I know are not the ones with the most money. The happiest ones are those who live simpler lifestyles, the ones who follow their passions and more often than not, the ones who spend the most time outside in nature.

The more time I have spend looking into this, the more I believe that it's not just about living a simpler life. That is undoubtedly part of it, but it's actually about living a life that is more connected to nature. If we allow ourselves to realise that we are part of the natural world, we can start to learn from it. Instead of trying to change our ecosystem to make it work for us, we can work with it. I know this may sound quite an alternative or "hippy" view but it really shouldn't be. After all, the natural world is really the only guide we have, its what some cultures have been using for thousands of years, observing the natural systems, learning from them and adapting to them.

There are many examples of this philosophy existing and being successful in mainstream society too. The Barefoot Running Movement is a direct result of noticing that the human body has evolved to run. Why spend money on the latest impressive cushioning and supportive shoe when you have a pretty good body that can do all that for you? The answer is that we don't, we just need to look at relearning a natural technique for running. Permaculture is a system of agricultural and social design principles centred on simulating the patterns and features observed in natural ecosystems. It has proved very successful as a way to create truly sustainable landscapes, communities and even businesseses.  Zero Waste and Tiny Home Living are growing in popularity from people realising that living a simpler, more natural way can lead to more freedom and more happiness. Further down the scale there are people like Ido Portal, and Wim Hof who are using natural techniques to make amazing progress in the fitness, health and well-being industries. Even the hugely successful Japanese Bullet Train's design came from an observation of the natural world. The shape of the train that allows it to travel at such high speeds is replicated from the beak of the Kingfisher. The engineers noticed that the Kingfisher was able to dive into water and create almost no splash. By copying it's shape the train became more fuel efficient, more aerodynamic and much quieter.

We can see this approach does work in a variety of ways, so why limit our use of it? What else could we learn from the natural world?

Movement: If you've ever taken a dog for walk you may have noticed a distinct difference between how dogs move compared to the person walking them.  They run, jump, stretch, roll, they are constantly moving, they rarely walk at the same pace everywhere. It's the same for all animals. Any animal that can perform a movement often does. We don't. We have the ability to swim, jump, climb, run, perform an array of somersaults, in fact, we're the most versatile movers on the planet. However, the majority of us do not utilise this ability. Observing the natural world in this way can emphasise how important it is to incorporate this varied movement into our lives. Running, climbing, swimming, stretching, dancing, balancing, acrobatics, by doing a wider range of activities you are replicating a more natural version of yourself which can lead to you becoming fitter and healthier.

Patterns: The natural world is made up of patterns. Seasons, weather cycles, symbiotic relationships, it is built on this foundation.  We spend so much time observing the patterns in the natural world but rarely look for patterns in our own lives. If we start to identify the patterns in our own lives we can use them to learn a wealth of things about ourselves, our passions, our efficiency, dietary issues, our energy and our moods.

Diversity: There is so much diveristy in a natural ecosystem. The more diversity the healthier the system. But yet a vast proportion of our society embraces segregation. This comes in many forms, from immigration, to class systems, to our friendship circles, even to our hobbies and the way we make money. If we use the natural worlds example it suggests we will be healthier and more sustainable by embracing diversity.

There are so many ways we can observe the natural world and learn from it. These are really just a random selection that I decided to write about today. I have been using this mindset privately ever since learning about Permaculture and I've found it to be extremely useful. It's easy too. You just need to start to ask yourself "What would nature do in this situation?"

It is a simple solution to a complex problem and it can be used for every aspect of our lives, if we have an open mind. It's a pretty effective bull-shit-ometer too. The next time you hear about a new diet or exercise regime, ask yourself "Is this a natural way for humans to eat/exercise?"  No? Ignore it and move on.

It might seem a little far fetched to think that by embracing something like natural movement we can help solve some of the world's problems. I would agree. But if we see that the natural way of doing something like this benefits our health and happiness, it can open our minds to try something else. The next thing could be eating real, organic food, reducing our waste, or working less hours. It's all connected. If we can show that working alongside the natural world allows us to thrive, then more people will be tempted to adopt this approach. We don't need to wait for others to make sacrifices before we change if by changing we become happier.

Josh

"Though the problems of the world are increasingly complex, the solutions remain embarrassingly simple.”

Bill Mollison

The Change I Want To See - Changing our relationship with alcohol

I was recently approached by a friend to ask if she could write an article for this blog. When I started this blog I assumed that most people wanted to see similar changes as I. However, the reality and beautiful thing is that we are all passionate about changing different parts of society that are unique to us due to our experiences. This is the change that Amy Roberton wants to see . . .

I last had an alcoholic drink 5 months ago. I’m not an alcoholic in recovery… or am I?

Whatever I am, I can definitely say I’ve had a turbulent relationship with alcohol. I’m an all or nothing kind of girl in many ways, and yes I know that balance is important, but it’s something I’ve struggled to maintain in my life.

I’ve had two long-term relationships with alcoholic boyfriends and I’m from a family which likes a drink. Regular binge drinking has happened most weekends since I was a teenager, but everyone else I know has been doing this too. So what’s my problem?

Upon resettling to the UK last year I returned to my hometown to an unemployed, depressed, heavily drinking brother who was frequently experiencing blackouts. The worst of these being the time he woke up without his MacBook containing lots of his brilliant writing. I knew he was unhappy and needed help and compassion. I was extremely worried that if he didn’t turn his life around at that point, he may never do.

I’d previously given up on encouraging my ex-partners to stop drinking, as I realised that they might never change. I’d had to cut my losses, look after number one, and move on. But this was different. This was my big brother. He is amazing. Highly intelligent, creative, funny, loving and caring and I will never give up on him. I have always been in awe of him, and I always will be.    

I don’t want to talk too much about my brother because this is about my feelings towards my non-drinking. But just so you know, my family was able to get my brother into an awesome rehab centre, and nearly a year later he’s had his ups and downs but he’s in a much better place than he was. The centre teaches new routines, gives residents the tools to live a life of abstinence and delves into the self esteem, confidence, life and mental health issues which may be the underlying cause of addiction. On the day of his graduation from rehab (yes, this is what happens) I listened to the residents and counsellors speak one by one about my brother and how wonderful he was. We were all sat in a circle. I spoke, he spoke and we all wished him the best in his new life of sobriety. There were tears, fears, lots of hugs, lots of hope and lots of love. It was by far the proudest and most emotionally charged experience of my life.

As I said before my own drinking has never been very balanced. I’ve had months of sobriety followed by some serious bouts of binge drinking. I’ve passed out on the cold tiles of a pub toilet cubicle and experienced numerous occasions waking up in a strange place with no recollection of how I got there. Don’t take this the wrong way it’s not all doom and gloom. Apparently I’m absolutely hilarious when I’m drunk. I can be the life and soul of the party and I’ve had some great nights. Unfortunately, more often than not, I’ve had little or no recollection of what’s happened, a horrendous hangover and felt depressed, shameful and full of regret for days.

You see the change I want to see is that I’d love people to drink less. Why do we feel the need to constantly anaesthetise ourselves in the one precious life we have? It seems the social lives of most people I know are very alcohol focused, and this makes the process of becoming a non-drinker quite isolating. I’m constantly asked why I’m not drinking and people generally think it’s a bit weird, but I have the confidence to be social and sober, and I’ve never been one to follow the rules. In fact, I keep hearing that other people would love to do the same but for some reason or other they feel they can’t.

Perhaps they feel that without a drink in their hand they won’t be able to socialise and they’ll miss out on all the fun. Truth be told at times I wonder whether without alcohol I’m actually quite a boring person. In reality, when I’m out and everyone else is drinking, the first few hours are great, but once the booze really kicks in, the conversation gets quite tiresome and I’m ready to leave. Drunk people are not as hilarious as they once seemed. At times I would love to be able to tap into that comical life of the party me whilst sober, but maybe that just isn’t who I am, or maybe I’m at the wrong parties…

I’m writing this as it’s two days since my new boyfriend split up with me. I really liked him. One of the things that I found really attractive about him was that he never drinks, and he’s never been drunk. This is a very strange phenomenon in my world. The end of this relationship came out of the blue and it hit me hard. I rang in sick to work, sobbed in bed for a day and then just got up and got on with life. My first thought was that I’d go out and get drunk, because this is how I’ve previously dealt with emotional pain. But I realise this is not the best way to cope with life. It could be fun - just a few light-hearted drinks whilst moaning about men, or I could wake up with no recollection of the night before, a huge dent in my bank account, a horrible hangover and days of depression and regret. I am not willing to take the risk and have the 1 drink that may lead to 10.

I am sticking to my non-drinking and will see what difference it makes. I am feeling the benefits of a life without alcohol and I can take the full pain of the end of this relationship, pick myself up and move on. I will not get drunk, cry and make regretful phone calls or sleep with strangers. Without alcohol I have more respect for myself, control of my emotions, actions and finances. Most importantly I can remember each day and I’m making positive memories which are leading me to a brighter, more hopeful future.

If you would like to change your relationship with alcohol, cut down your intake, or have a short break from drinking here are a few ideas to encourage and inspire you:

• Alcohol is very high in calories and cost! I can almost 100% guarantee you that if you stop drinking for a month you will lose weight and save money.
• If you do go out, set a £10 spending limit for yourself (only take cash and don’t join rounds!)
• Meet friends in a local independent café for coffee and cake. All those calories saved on booze can be used to eat more baked goods (yippee!)
• Without hangovers, weekends can be spent sharing productive time with friends or family, perhaps exercising or waking super early and going on a road-trip.
• To share your thoughts and hear other peoples’ stories, check out the online community www.hellosundaymorning.org - a movement towards a better drinking culture, which supports people to change their relationship with alcohol.

Big thanks to Amy for reaching out and telling her story. While I have a much healthier relationship with alcohol than I used to, when living in London, I can still see areas I can change for the better after reading this. 

Amy's article has inspired me to open up this blog to other peoples stories. If you would like to write a guest post on the change you want to see please get in touch. 

How to take a digital detox

How to take a digital detox

I've never paid much attention to detoxes. The idea of cutting out toxins or things that are supposedly unhealthy for a short period of time only to take them back up again doesn't make sense to me. I'd rather just attempt to drink and eat healthy all the time and avoid the need to detox in the first place. Recently, however, I've become increasingly aware, that at 32, it is perhaps time for my first detox. The toxin that I need a break from, the digital world.

Having been born in the early 80's, I consider myself very fortunate to have spent over 50% of my life in a non digital world. I have fond memories of when the closest I had to receiving a text was to get hit in the head by a note thrown by a friend when the teacher wasn't looking, pictures needed to be developed and were shared by hand, and having lots of followers probably wouldn't have been a good thing. I remember arranging to meet people and then having to be actually be there on time, to getting on a bus or train and not having something in my pocket to entertain me, so instead, simply looking out of the window, and living a life with far less distractions and far more time spent outside.

I feel a bit sorry for kids nowadays. They have been raised in a digital world their whole lives. While there are clearly advantages to this, such as the ability to have instant access to information and inspiration, and to prove your friends wrong in the pub immediately, there are also disadvantages that come from it. We are surrounded 24 hours a day 365 days a year by distractions. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Texts, News, TV, Spotify, Netflix, TV on demand, the list is endless and it is all instantly available, all we have to do is reach into our pockets and your distraction of choice is there for the taking. I miss those hours of frustration spent racking your brain for the answer to pointless questions. Now the answer is given almost before the question has finished being asked, usually by a smug looking me, face lit up by my LED encyclopedia. If you look around, more and more of us are choosing the distractions over real life. So often when we are presented with a free minute or two we choose to be distracted, in a restaurant when our friend goes to the toilet, on the toilet, waiting for a bus, on the bus, whatever the situation, if we are given time, there is that instinctive reaction to go for our pockets, to be entertained.

I need a cleanse from this.

I realised that whenever I was presented with this free time I was often repeating a cycle with my phone or laptop.

Facebook, hmmm seen that funny cat video twice already...

Instagram... still no likes....

Let's see if the news headlines have changed....nope...

Better check the weather again...

I know how ridiculous this is. It's a massive waste of my time yet I still do it, we all do. If you were a channel flicker as a child then the internet and social media is a dream come true for twisting until you find entertainment. It scares me to think how much time I have wasted on this.

With any bad habit, the first step to resolving it is to realise there is a problem in the first place. I know there is a level of hypocrisy in me saying all this seeing as you are reading my blog online and there's a chance you found out I'd posted a new one via a social media link I sent out. It's probably not great for my ratings or whatever you call it on blogs? to encourage you to spend less time online but I think you should at least ask yourself if you do spend too much time online? Some people have a great balance for this already. If you are one of those people you can probably stop reading and head on back to the real world. I however, need a detox from this. I am not suggesting a blanket ban. But I have devised some steps I have taken and will be taking, that I thought I would share, to help take a step back from it all and spend a little more time smelling the roses.

1. Disconnect your TV. I haven't had a connected TV for the last three years and wish I had done it sooner. I still have a TV and watch the occasional movie or TV show through my laptop on it, but gone is the habit of coming home and having the TV on in the background or channel flicking in search of some entertainment. If this seems a bit drastic try going a week without turning the TV on at all, listen to some music, read a book, talk to your partner/friends more, play a game or just enjoy some silence.
2. Turn off all notifications from your phone. The phone is like a little devil on our shoulder. "Check me! Check me!" At times we forget it's there but then... BEEEEEP!  Our attention is taken from the real world and is instead drawn to the phone. The more notifications I turn off, the less time spent on my phone. That instagram/facebook post was still there when I looked later on. I really wasn't missing anything.
3. Remove as many apps as possible from your phone. In my deepest digital obsession I had pages and pages of apps on my phone. Social media, news feeds, weather apps, message services, games, all sorts of random crap. Each app needed attention. Any free moment was elongated as I checked each app to make sure I wasn't missing anything...I wasn't...but I needed to double check. I now only have a few that I have decided actually add value to my life, I have kept instagram (I'll come to that later) but all other social media have gone from my phone, anything I haven't used in the last month gets deleted. Less apps = less time on the phone.
4. Unfollow everyone on social media. Ok maybe not everyone, but get ruthless. That friend on facebook you haven't spoken to in person or on even on facebook for the last 10 years... do you really need to see that they liked a meme about rabbits? Cut em. The less new information you have on your social media feeds the less time you will spend scrolling on them. This is a good thing. If you feel a bit harsh fully "defriending" someone on facebook there is a magic little option to stop seeing their posts, use it. If you use twitter and instagram try limiting the amount of people you follow. I dont really use twitter, but I have set a limit to only follow a max of 100 people on instagram. Less new pics = less time spent.
5. Unsubscribe to all newsletters. It's amazing the random emails lists we end up subscribed to. I spent so long simply deleting them thinking that one day I would get round to reading one of the newsletters, I liked the company but didn't have time to read their email this time....this would go on for months, or even years. Every month they would take up a fraction of my time. I have now subscribed from all but about 3 newsletters that I actually enjoy reading each month. If you haven't opened a newsletter in the last 3 emails, unsubscribe (that goes for mine too!).
6. Take real photos. I used to really enjoy taking proper pictures with an actual camera. But my phone and instagram made me lazy and the filters made me think I was a better photographer. I have started taking my camera around with me again and taking time to take a proper picture. It is still digitial but it shows how far we have come that even a digital camera seems a slower, more mindful way of doing things.
7. Listen to real music. When I was a kid the excitement of going to a record store to pick up a recently released album was immense. You would read the sleeve back to back, and there was a definite ritual and mindfulness to putting the CD on for the very first time and sitting down/dancing around while you actually listened to the music. I miss this.  I've gotten used to the online music world of instant access to everything and the excitement and intention has gone. I am on the look out for a turntable to bring this back. While this will take up more of my time I think it is a trade I am happy to make.
8. At least a day a week offline. When was the last time you didn't check something online? Probably when camping, or on an adventure of some kind. Now that wifi and 3G is everywhere it is hard to properly disconnect from the online world. I am trying to introduce at least a day a week where I will have no contact with the internet. I definitely use the internet less on the weekends but still have some connection to it. I am aiming to have a full break once a week. If that seems difficult because of your job, you could try an evening a week, after 5pm for example, instead.

If you want to reduce your reliance on the digital world you don't need to do all of these things at once. If you do one thing today, you will be less reliant than you were the day before and that is progress. I'll still be posting blogs and the odd instagram post but will be doing it with a lot more intention. If I have something to say I will say it, if not I will try not to waste all of our time.

If you have any other suggestions for how to disconnect please let me now in the comments or better yet tell me in the real world.

Josh

Do rich people take more than their fair share?

Do rich people take more than their fair share?

Rich people are getting some bad stick in the media at the minute. Turns out quite a few of them don't like to pay taxes. Unfortunately, I am not going to be helping their cause here. But before we get out our flaming torches and lynch the nearest rich person we may need to pause to take a quick look in the mirror. What if you and I are considered rich too?

With all these revelations of tax dodging in the papers it got me thinking about people taking more than their fair share. I was enraged to see so many people making excessive amounts of money and not giving back to the system. One thing I have learnt through Permaculture is that the key to a sustainable community is for people to only take their fair share of resources. The First Nations communities of Canada have a philosophy for this called the Seventh Generation Principle whereby any decision they make must consider the impact it will have on people in seven generations time. It's a beautifully simple way to look to the future and not just the present. It's fair to say this is not a philosophy shared by those implicated in the Panama Papers.

But tax avoidance aside, I started looking more into the principle of fair share. While it is easy to look at someone with a bigger house, larger car that burns more fuel, larger amount of waste, etc and assume they have a bigger footprint and are therefore taking more than their fair share it isn't easily quantifiable.  Perhaps the best way is to look at how much money someone has. As I thought about it further, I realised that their seems to be a direct correlation between money and the world's resources. The more money someone has the more of the world's resources they have used. Now I should make it very clear, I am not an economic expert, so someone with more knowledge on this might be able to explain that I have no clue what I am talking about. But I have thought about this a lot and I can only see this as holding true. Even if you did extremely ethical work that benefited the planet, if you charge money for your service and make lots of it, then you have very little control of how that money is generated. For you to have lots of that money, resources would need to have been used along the way. If you imagine the world's economy as one big piece of pie, having more money means you have a bigger slice.

With this in mind I set out to find out what the average slice would be. Thankfully someone else had done the math's for me here and concluded that the average salary in the world in 2012 was US$18,000/£11,291 a year. This amount takes into account exchange rates and gives an indication of how much people across the planet would have to spend if they lived and worked in the US or UK. I was shocked to realised that even though I earn a below average salary where I live in Canada, I was still taking well over my share of the world's pie. I also realised I didn't know anyone who lives off such a low salary, nearly everyone I know is also taking more than their share too.

But this isn't all doom and gloom. My aim here isn't to make us all feel guilty about having money. I certainly don't plan to ever live off such a low amount, I think it would be incredibly difficult to do. While I am willing to make sacrifices in the name of sustainability that is not one I am comfortable to accept. However, I do think it is important to realise that by living in the "developed world" we are all taking more than our fair share of the world's resources and so it is our responsibility to act on this. While it might not seem like we have a lot, the majority of us can afford to pay someone to make us a coffee each morning and on a world scale that makes us rich. So while having security for ourselves and our family is important we shouldn't simply chase more and more money because it is what society expects of us without understanding the implications.  If we wasted less money on consumerism we would reach that level of security much sooner and perhaps we could use our time to do things that aren't motivated by money and benefit both ourselves and the planet. If you take money out of the equation we are also much more likely to spend our time doing things that interest us. If everyone focused on this rather than making more money I think the world would be a much more beautiful place.

Anyway, just a thought...

Josh